This class was a great time of reflection. Each woman shared something about how the “definitions” from last week gave them some fun stuff to share with their husband. They each explained, in different ways, how they liked being able to shed new light on Song of Solomon to their mate. And what was fun for me was listening to how the discussions progressed after the wives shared the meanings with their husbands!

We had a good discussion on bedroom attire and I noticed every woman writing something down during this part of the class. I believe I may hear a couple of stories next week of how they went out and purchased something pretty to wear to bed.

After a time of reflection and teaching, I showed a DVD clip from Tommy Nelson’s Song of Solomon series. I play the session from Disc #2, Part 5, entitled, “The Art of Intimacy, Part 1.” This is the section of his seminar where he interprets and explains the words and meaning of Chapter 4 from Song of Solomon.

This chapter is all about the wedding night of Solomon and Shulamith–the foreplay and the inevitable consummation of their marriage. As I sit in a chair at the back of the room, behind the ladies during this clip, it’s fun for me to watch them as they begin to understand just how erotic, and fun, this time was for the royal couple. Nelson does such a fabulous job of helping a Christian see how God intended for marriage to be passionate, and pure–all at the same time. He is great at explaining what God really desires for a married couple in their sexual relationship.

While money may be an issue for you concerning Nelson’s seminar on DVD, I would encourage you to try and borrow this resource for sharing with your class. Maybe your church already owns this series, or would be willing to purchase it for a time of teaching in the future. Your class would greatly benefit from viewing it.

I encouraged my students to share what they learned with their husband at home, along with reading the commentary of Chapter 4 from the Appendix. This always proves to be an important part of this study because it helps them as a couple to understand that God desires them to enjoy the passion He created and that He blesses their sexual union.

I had one lady share how she had conversation with her husband last week about God being in the bedroom. She asked her husband if he was “there” yet, meaning was he able to openly invite God into their lovemaking. While he shared with her that he was not, they both were able to share with each other that they both desired to get to this point of being able to do this. I could tell that it was a very vital and important time of sharing in their marriage.

Once again, so much of what I love about this study is how it helps couples open up and begin communicating about a critical part of their marriage.

Having a smaller class this time has been very enjoyable for me. We have time to take a few “rabbit trails” during the course of the study; yet I find that we run out of time much too quickly. Ninety minutes should be enough, but I find I always wish for more.

Once again I encouraged them not to miss next week when I play Lorraine Pintus’ message on past sexual sin. I believe that no matter what the state of a woman’s marriage is, she can benefit from hearing this talk. For some women it has been life-changing by helping them to break the ties from past sexual relationships; for others, it has helped them to see that they have some wrong attitudes concerning sex in their marriage.

When I’m busy preparing for this class, I pray extra hard for the ladies that will hear the message and for God to make their hearts receptive to what He will say to them that night and in the weeks ahead. I pray that nothing will be a distraction to them and that they will be able to totally focus on the message.

More details to follow next week!

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If you decide to use door prizes for your class, I find using name cards very helpful. If you do, you will use these beginning in week 2.

I like to print off name cards onto heavy cardstock and print their names on the line provided. Here is an photo of what one looks like.(A master sheet with 6 blank name cards is included in the Colored Graphics package from the Leader’s Guide available for purchase on this site.)

I also laminate them using a 9 x 12 sheet of clear laminate as a way of prolonging the life of the cardstock, although this certainly is not necessary.

I keep the cards in a small container. I use a small, rectangular-shaped plastic container with a divider down the middle, which also has a lid. I use this for storing the cards from week to week.

Once class is underway, I pass the container around. If a student has completed her homework, she takes her name card from the side of the container with all the student name cards in it and places hers in the other side that says “completed homework.” If she hasn’t done the homework, her card remains where it is.

When everyone has finished passing around the container, I take the cards from the completed-homework side, turn the cards upside down in my hands, and have a student draw for the winner. The winner is then awarded the door prize and we all take a few moments to enjoy watching her unwrap her “treasure.”

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We started off this class by sharing Linda Dillow’s comments with the two ladies that missed listening to her message last week. Although the other ladies who were there last week had not used their bows yet, we all had fun talking about the possibilities. I also shared with the ladies some of the stories others had shared with me personally about how they had used their bows. It was fun!

Following this discussion, we began talking about personal beauty. For a woman, this is always a big area to work through. While there was nothing “surprising” about the discussion, it was good therapy to talk about what determines our attitude about how we perceive our bodies, and then how our husband perceives our body, too.

One woman shared how it really helped her to read in the Student Workbook about looking at your family’s body makeup as a whole. Because her mother has struggled with certain body issues during her lifetime, this lady also realized there are just going to be specific things about her body she isn’t going to be able to “fix.” While this can be frustrating at times, it also helps to be realistic about what battles to fight.

Another area we touched upon briefly was that of how to help our daughters as they grow up. Trying to teach them about beauty and being content with their own personal body image can certainly be a challenge these days. As it turns out, all of us in this class homeschool our children, and although it doesn’t make us immune to outside influences, we all agreed that we have a special opportunity to help our girls on a regular basis to learn how to be thankful for the body God gave them. We then kidded about how this could help us, too!

Between talking about the area of shame and guilt, and then how Satan is beautiful and works hard to get women to be discontent with their bodies, we only had a few minutes to begin the discussion on sex with children around your knees. Plus, we didn’t even get to talk about the whole idea of our bedrooms being like Engedi.

Next week, I’d better do the mental exercise about Engedi and a quick summary or else it will cause the bedroom discussion in week 12 to be lacking. Oh well, as many teachers know–it doesn’t always turn out the way you planned.

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Something I enjoy doing for each class I teach is to keep track of students who never miss a class. One of the reasons why it is so enjoyable is because I never tell them I’m keeping track of their attendance!

When it is time for the Celebration Class, which I conduct for Week #13, I present any of the students who have not missed a class with a special certificate. (A copy of one can be seen in the Appendix of the Leader’s Guide.) I also like to include a small gift like a scented candle along with this.

There is a copy of a Perfect Attendance Certificate in the Appendix of your guide. You can xerox it onto heavy cardstock, or you may purchase a colored copy to print from your computer in the Colored Graphics from the Leader’s Guide. This is just one of several other colored graphics included in this purchase.

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My 14th class met for the first time last night. With only three students, this is definitely the smallest class I’ve ever taught. Although I thought it would be awkward for the students, it proved to be very enjoyable since they all turned out to know each other.

I encouraged them to invite any one else they knew who would want to take the class by next week, but they seemed quite happy with the status quo. Since I don’t allow new students to join after week two, it might remain as is.

Last night was the first time I used round tables. The ones we have at church seat 6 to 7 people so it worked out well. I like to use 6-foot artificial flower garland to decorate the tables, along with candles so I placed the garland in the shape of a heart and put 3 different candles in the three “corners of the heart. With two pole lamps to gently light the room and soft romantic music playing the background, a peaceful setting was created.

I can tell you that I will not break even with expenses for this class. Luckily, many things are already paid for from previous classes. I do have the expenses for the books, workbooks, and door prizes. At $40 per person, it’s not a lot of money to work with.

I always pray for God to send the ladies He wants in this class and so far it’s only three. So, I’ll continue to trust Him to work out the monies, too!

I’m thankful I have three women who aren’t afraid to talk. We had some good discussions about how we met our mates, what we learned about sex while growing up, and sex as being a gift for marriage. However, the best part was when I shared Kevin Leman’s statistic about how often men think about sex.

I love this part of the class because it begins to help a woman see what her husband deals with on a daily basis. Of what I know about these three ladies, it will be fun to listen to how they processed this during the week and what they shared with their husband.

I’m looking forward to Week 2.

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This week found me with only two students in class. One lady was on a short vacation with her husband and the other one had duties to attend to in the Awana program.

Although there were only two of them, we enjoyed sharing about respect to begin the class. One lady said she had been able to share with a friend back home about how to show respect to her 22 year-old son who was still living at home. He’s working full time and isn’t a problem. The mom just wants to continue to have “control” over him, as in requesting him not to get a tattoo he wants to get. You could tell that the lady in my class was learning so much about how respect filters down to our sons and how we can choose to respect them, even if we don’t agree with them. Good stuff.

The other comment I really appreciated was from the other student when she shared about how she and her husband had been intimate one night (no details included.) Then she said he wanted to make love again the next night. She confessed that a few weeks ago she would have said, “But you just got it last night!” Instead, she shared that she said, “Okay,” and they made love. Her final comment was, “He’s been walking around with a smile on his face a lot lately!” …Yes!

Then we got into not wanting to make love. It was a “typical” discussion and one where the three of us took a few tangents. All in all, it was a good discussion about I Corinthians 7:3-5 and formed a good foundation for next week’s class when I play Linda Dillow’s CD on “What Do I Do When I Don’t Want to Do It?”

We’ll also talk about some ways to say “no” or “not now” in a positive way next week.

I can’t wait until I get to give out the pretty big bows!

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I love teaching the lesson for this week because one of my favorite parts of this study is sharing the erotic love story and God’s gift of sex for marriage behind Song of Solomon in Scripture.

So many women that participate in An Invitation to Intimacy have never heard about the love story between Solomon and his bride, often because they’ve never read it or found it difficult to understand the meaning behind the poetry of  this book.

In an effort to make Solomon and Shulamith’s love story understood, I’ve written my own interpretation of what I believe may have occurred between this husband and wife. While much of my story comes from my imagination, there is definitely scriptural evidence for the events that take place and some of the conversations that occur during their courtship and marriage.

Just before I begin to read their love story, I wait for the lady who wins the door prize to open her gift while the rest of the students enjoy watching her and sharing their thoughts about what she got. As they settle down, I simply begin reading–no introduction to what I’m reading or what the story is about.

I always make sure to use a lot of expression as I pull the students into the story.

Finally, after I’m finished reading (and it takes me about 17 minutes to read “A Vineyard and the Palace“), I pause for a few moments and wait for their responses. Then we participate in a time of  sharing various thoughts they were thinking while I was reading.

If you would like a copy of this love story which can be separate from what is in the Leader’s Guide, it is available for purchase, along with other resources in the Colored Graphics for An Invitation to Intimacy. You may also purchase this document by going to the button at the top of this page that says, “Leader” and dropping down to “Leader Resources.”

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This is the week when I play Lorraine’s talk during class. It is the one entitled, “How Do I Get Over the Guilt of Past Sexual Sin?” It is one of the CDs contained in the Intimate Issues’ Conference CDs available for sale from their online store on their website.

If you’ve listened to it, you know it is a powerful and emotional message. I always feel slightly unsettled and tense as I get ready for this class. I spend time praying for the ladies who will hear it throughout the week. Then I pray more intensely for each individual woman as I set up the room for class. I ask the Lord to help each woman to be open to the message she will hear and to allow God to work on her heart and mind–both of which are necessary for healing to take place.

After we share the first part of the lesson about shifting into sexual gear, I give my students some introductory remarks about what they will hear. I share with them about the time I went to an Intimate Issues Conference in January, 2003 and was one of about 800 women. As Lorraine finished talking, there wasn’t a dry eye in the room. Women were sobbing and several women went to the front of the church where they cried uncontrollably. It was incredibly moving.

Just before I start the CD, I explain that I’ve spread out the seating in order to give them as much privacy during the message as possible. I want them to be able to worship, pray, and do whatever they feel God is leading them to do without feeling crowded. Tonight, however, the ladies decided to remain seated right next to each other. They said, “If we’re going to cry, we just want to cry next to each other.” And they did.

After Lorraine finished speaking and the time of reflection began, I heard sniffles while two women got on the floor to kneel and worship.

As we got to the end of the time of singing as Lorraine speaks of how Jesus is her king, I quietly walk forward and stop the CD, before the mood is broken by Lorraine talking about women taking a bathroom break.

As we sat in the dark, I sang “Change My Heart, O God,” and then ended with “Amazing Grace.” Once I was finished with the singing, I ended the evening with a prayer.

Then, for the first time, the ladies and I continued to sit in the dark as one of them shared about a book she had read concerning past sexual sin by Kay Arthur. She said it was called, With An Everlasting Love. It was sweet and was a great way to end our time together. (The next week she brought me a copy to read. It is fabulous!)

As we finished talking, I told them we would be seeing a DVD next week on the differences between men and women, and we would have a fun time of laughing! While I encouraged them to reflect, pray, and work through some issues to bring healing this week, I also wanted them to know that we would be having some fun then.

Even though I’m always slightly nervous about this class before it starts, I’m ALWAYS thankful and peaceful when it’s over. I guess it’s one of those things that I never want to take for granted or ever want to be too comfortable about before God makes His presence known during this class.

I’m so thankful to Lorraine for sharing her past. It has been amazing to have watched what God has done in the hearts and lives of the women I have shared her message with.

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Recently, I was creating a PowerPoint presentation for week 10 for my class called An Invitation to Intimacy. As part of this week’s lesson, I’ve started showing a DVD by Rob Bell called, Flame. It is an 11-minute movie explaining the different meanings of the word “love” and how they are experienced in marriage and a couple’s sexual relationship.

As I was looking for a link where I could capture a screenshot of the cover for this DVD, I found a link to YouTube that had the entire movie uploaded here. Needless to say, I was pretty excited about that because now after I show the movie in class, I can now give the web address for it on YouTube. This will enable a wife from my class to go home and view Flame with her husband.

In addition, for those of you who are leading a Passionate Partnership class, this is very beneficial to you. One of the resources required for conducting week 4 is a copy of this DVD. Now that it is available through YouTube, you can use this resource instead (or at least for as long as it is available online.)

You can find this DVD on YouTube at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTyV6wmm_B4

Enjoy!

For this round of classes, I decided I wanted to do something different. After having taught An Invitation to Intimacy fourteen other times, I once again tried to think of something “new” to bring to this set of students.

After evaluating my skills, I realized I had learned how to do some PowerPoint a year ago, but had not done much with it. So, after some time refreshing my memory and learning some things I had not known before, I began with lesson one.

It certainly took longer than I had expected to format the information into slides, but after numerous efforts, I created my first PowerPoint presentation for An Invitation to Intimacy. I have to say, it went very well. It was visually interesting and having facts and powerful statements up on the big screen was an even more effective way of helping these women comprehend the information being presented.

You see, once the presentation is created, it can be saved as a PowerPoint file to your computer. Then you simply launch the file, hook your computer up to a projector with a gadget called a dongle which is simply a small piece of hardware that connects on the side of a laptop or desktop computer. (It’s the place on the side of a laptop that has two rows of holes. Contact me if you would like a picture.)

Once you have your computer hooked up to the projector, you just need a screen or a big wall for viewing. It’s really quite easy. It just takes a little bit of setting up.

Since that first week, I’ve been creating a PowerPoint presentation for each week. I’m all the way through week 6 and plan to continue with the rest of the lessons.

In the future, I would like to make these available for leaders to purchase so the lessons can be presented in a more powerful way. Being a visual learner myself, I find that even now I am better able to retain more of the information I’m sharing with others than I probably did in the past.

I’ll let you know later this summer, or simply check back under the leader resources for availability. Like me, you might even find that the PowerPoint presentations will take the place of the leader’s guide.