Is Nonsexual Touch an Oxymoron?

There are many reasons why touch is so important. Research has shown that it is vital to our health and sense of well being. It can relieve stress; it can make us happier than we might have been without it; and it’s an important element in nonverbal communication. It truly affects us physically, emotionally, and even spiritually.

In marriage, nonsexual touch and affection are critical elements for a strong and healthy relationship. It is a language that we speak to our spouse without having to exchange a single word, yet touch “speaks” volumes to our mate in a way that nothing else does.

Nonsexual touch is especially important for a woman. The sense of touch helps her  feel cherished and valued; it stimulates the hormones in her brain that help her feel close to her man; and it reassures her that the marriage relationship is thriving.

So, what are some ways a husband and wife can express nonsexual touch to each other? Here is a short list to help you get started. Then you can add your own:

• Hug your mate. You can incorporate this into your daily lives by hugging each other goodbye in the morning before you go your separate ways, and hello in the evening when you both come back together.

• Sit next to each other. When your children are with you, place them on either side of you–not between you.
• Kiss. Take time to share a kiss with each other–just for the fun of it.
• Cuddle or snuggle. You can enjoy this kind of close touching when you’re sitting on the couch or enjoying a sports event. Make an effort to sit close.
• Massage your mate’s back, feet and shoulders. Not only will it feel good to them, but it will help relieve tension and stress.
• Sitting close to one another both privately and in public.
• Hold hands with each other when you walk along and even when you pray together.
• Allow your mate to rest in your lap while you gently brush or comb their hair.
• Place your arm on the back of your wife’s chair next to you and gently touch her shoulder.
• Walk arm in arm while walking down the street.
• Help your wife out of the car by extending your hand to her.
• Gently caress parts of your mate’s body, without expecting anything in return.
• Shower or bathe together. Washing each other’s hair or soaping down their back can feel great.

Physical closeness with your mate is another important way of reinforcing the oneness God intended for married couples. It conveys to your partner that your feelings of love are still very much alive and exhibits a loving and secure relationship to those that witness it.

It’s as if the two of you are saying to the world, “I value my spouse. I trust my mate. He/she is important to me. I love you.”