Some Facts About Kissing

Kissing! Oh, a kiss can mean so much, can’t it? When shared with the person that means the world to you, it can set off fireworks! However, there are times when a kiss can mean nothing at all. That obligatory kiss given with no thought or meaning are ones we’ve probably all been guilty of.

Remember those times when you were growing up and you thought kissing was yucky? There was absolutely no way you were going to let the opposite sex come anywhere close. Then that special “someone” came along, and kissing became incredibly special and meaningful.

How do you define a kiss? According to Edel Jarboe in his article entitled, “Kissing Connectivity,” he writes:

A kiss is more than the sharing of lips and breath. It is a mingling of hearts and souls. A slight tingle, a funny feeling in the tummy, a racing heart, is to be expected. A kiss is an intimate connection to another human being and a simple way to express love and affection. It is also a way for us to confirm that our partner is “the one” and traditionally, the marriage vow is sealed with a kiss as well. What better way to seal the promise of love?[i]

Kissing can also be a very investigatory process. Here’s how Dr. Helen Fisher, professor of anthropology at Rutgers University in Newark, N.J. explains this:

By the time you’re kissing someone, you’re right up next to them, you are in their personal space. That in itself means you have trusted them. You’re also learning quite a bit about them—you touch them, smell them, taste them, see the expressions on their face, learn something about their health status, learn a great deal about their intentions.[ii]

Whenever we share a meaningful kiss with our spouse, the rest of the world seems to disappear and can really get our arousal meter “shifted into gear.” Kissing can be one of the most passionate things we do with our mate. It has the potential to lead us as a couple into some wonderful times of intimacy and lovemaking.

Did you also know that kissing is extremely important to a woman? According to Dr. Leslie Parrott, co-director of the Center for Relationship Development at Seattle Pacific University, “women do read more into kissing than men. It can make them feel attractive, cared for, and even boost their self-esteem. Women unconsciously use kissing as a barometer for how much they’re respected, valued, and loved.”

Well, if kissing is this important to a woman, then it’s certainly worth givng kissing some special effort and expressing this to our mate. In addition, kissing has some wonderful health benefits as well. After reading them, it may encourage you to kiss more often!

According to an article entitled, “What’s So Great About Kissing?” from WebMD Health on the internet, “a serious, tongue-tangling kiss triggers a whole spectrum of physiological processes that can boost your immunity and generally spruce up that body you work so hard to keep attractive.”

• It seems that one of the benefits of a nice, wet kiss is the extra saliva. It washes bacteria off your teeth, which can help break down oral plaque.[iii]
• Whenever you experience a really serious, “tongue-tangling” French kiss, you actually exercise all the underlying muscles of your face, which may not only help to make you look younger, but will certainly keep you looking happier.[iv]
• Dr. Bryant Stamford, Ph.D., professor and director of the health promotion center at the University of Louisville says, “Kissing might even help you lose weight. During a really, really passionate kiss, you might burn two calories a minute—double your metabolic rate. (This compares to 11.2 calories per minute you burn jogging on a treadmill.)”
• Stress relief is another health benefit of kissing. Psychologist Joy Davidson, PhD, likens kissing to meditation. “It stops the buzz in your mind, it quells anxiety, and it heightens the experience of being present in the moment. It actually produces a lot of the physiological changes that meditation produces.”
• Kissing can also lead to touching, which is a good thing. Touching and massaging release oxytocin, a hormone known to have a calming effect on the body.[v] (And as a side note—“Oxytocin makes us feel good about the person who causes the oxytocin to be released, and it causes a bonding between the two persons.[vi])
• And according to some researchers, for the best health benefits, kiss more and kiss longer!

So here are a few other tips to help make kissing once again a favorite pastime with your spouse:

• Make eye contact with one another as you kiss. Kissing with your eyes open can help to keep you focused on one another.
• When kissing, relax. Remember, kissing helps to relieve stress.
• Remember just how special you and your spouse are together.
• Enjoy kissing more than just your spouse’s lips. Be creative. Try kissing your spouse’s forehead, eyelids, nose, chin––you get the idea.
• When kissing, allow your hands to get involved as well. Try gently caressing your spouse’s neck, back, and even hands while kissing.

Here’s a tidbit for the wives reading this article:

A German group of psychologists, physicians, and insurance companies cooperated on a research project designed to find the secret to long life and success. They made a surprising discovery. The secret? Kiss your wife each morning when you leave for work! The meticulous German researchers discovered that men who kiss their wives every morning have fewer automobile accidents on their way to work than men who omit the morning kiss. The good-morning kissers also miss less work because of illness and earn 20 to 30 percent more money than non-kissers. How do they explain their findings? According to West Germany’s Dr. Arthur Szabo, “A husband who kisses his wife every morning begins the day with a positive attitude.” How would your husband’s attitude change in your home for the evening if you greeted your spouse when he got home with a hug and a kiss? Over time there would probably be some tangible results.[vii]

Now, what are you waiting for? Go find your spouse and start kissing!

(This article is taken from the Couple’s Workbook for a Bible study on Song of Solomon entitled, Passionate Partnership: A Couple’s Invitation to Intimacy.)

[i] Edel Jarboe, “Kissing Connectivity: Keeping Your Relationship Hot” from    www.PioneerThinking.com/ej_kissing.html.

[ii] Jeanie Lerche Davis, “What’s So Great About Kissing?” from www.webmdhealth.com, January 23, 2004.

[iii] Mathew Messina, DDS, “What’s So Great About Kissing?” from www.webmdhealth.com, January 23, 2004.

[iv] Jeanie Lerche Davis, “What’s So Great About Kissing?” from www.webmdhealth.com, January 23, 2004.

[v] Indiana University School of Medicine, Sound Medicine Magazine, February 21, 2004.

[vi] Paul Byerly, “Oxytocin in Women: The Bridge Between Touch and Sex,” from www.TheMarriageBed.com.

[vii] Michael Farris and L. Reed Elam, A Sacred Foundation: The Importance of Strength in the Home School Marriage (Sisters, OR: Loyal Publishing, 2000), 103–104.