Transforming Marriages through Heart Surgery

I recently heard a sermon in which our pastor illustrated how God’s Word can cut to our hearts like a sword, just like it did in Acts 2 when Peter spoke to the crowd on the Day of Pentecost. He preached to them about how they had crucified the Son of God. “When the people heard this, they were cut to the heart and said to Peter and the other apostles, “Brothers, what shall we do?” Peter replied, “Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins…”(Acts 2:37–38a)

I was really impacted by our pastor’s statement when he said, “Before the truth can change you, it first has to cut you.”

As can be seen in the following chapters of Acts, those who were “cut to the heart” later devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching, to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread, to prayer, and gave to anyone who had a need (Acts 2:42–45). The transformation that took place after their hearts were pierced began to show outwardly in what they said and did. The Truth changed them from the inside out. Then in turn, God’s Word, described as a seed in Luke 8:11, took root and grew in their lives as His Word continued to be preached and practiced in the early church.

As I have reflected on this message, I’ve been struck by how this kind of “surgery” needs to occur in many of us in order to benefit our marriages. Sometimes our hopes, expectations, routines, and even habits cause our hearts to harden toward our mate, causing positive and nourishing growth to be minimal or even non-existent.

Some things I’ve read and noticed in my teaching about marriage through listening and conversations causes me concern about how some couples view their marital and sexual relationship. Some of these center around attitudes like:

• Women resenting their husbands because they are wired differently from them sexually
• Husbands downplaying the need of their wives to be romanced and cherished
• Wives who choose not to respect their husbands because he hasn’t earned it
• Couples forgetting to keep each other as their top priority (after their relationship with Christ, that is) and allowing their child(ren) to become the “center of the family”
• Spouses giving up on their marriages because they aren’t happy with their mate anymore

I find myself pondering what would happen if more of us underwent a “heart transformation.” God wants to convict us of our sins so our hearts and lives can be changed and our lives used more effectively for Him. He wants to plant seeds in our lives that will transfigure us and demonstrate to the world how God desires marriage to be.

In marriages between two good-willed people (mates who have their spouses’ best interests at heart), God’s Word provides answers for most any marital situation. I’ve witnessed and read testimonies of how sharing God’s Word through classes like An Invitation to Intimacy and Passionate Partnership have brought healing, forgiveness, and renewal. Initially, many are cut to the heart, and what follows are seeds that take root, resulting in nourishment and growth in marriages.

As the Church is waking up to what God desires for marriages and is boldly writing and speaking about His gifts to us, the time is ripe for Christians to reclaim what Satan has been allowed to steal!